killing me

i am
killing me
this food i eat
this life i live
is
killing me
i don't know how to die
but
i know how to kill
myself
hardwired to live
self-destructive
to the bone
who made me like this
and
y
can't i walk away from
it
the sun rises
the sun sets
and on  and on
i go
       killing myself
end of poem

lost

i got lost
jus the other day
jus the other day
in my house
an i thought of u
where had u gone
how did i let u
slip away
u said u had
to go do something
but i let u
get away
light snow
comin down
right before
the long lonely
winter
and then all the
sudden
u were gone
sitting in the
big chair
sunlight filtered into
cold empty room
and u weren't there
and the night is always long
light blanket of snow
covers
an mt bed
that i lie in
waiting for the
inevitable dawn
down in the empty canyon kitchen
i got lost
silent scream
over an over
no sound
how did i ever
let u go?